Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Last Cancer Treatment

Tomorrow is Patty's last scheduled treatment for the breast cancer diagnosis she received on August 9, 2006. 1 Year, 4 months, and 18 days ago. To steal a phrase from a not so favorite president of mine, FDR, "...a day that will live in infamy." She will still continue receiving treatments for her arm but these are not technically treatments for cancer rather treatments for the side effects of the surgery.

Patty is in remission or as we say in the medical field NED (No Evidence of Disease). No one is officially cured of cancer, you either have it or are NED. We continue to pray that she will remain NED until she dies of something else at least at the age of her grandmother Bessie who turned 90 on Dec. 7. This has been a long road to travel and Patty and I are both praying for some green pasture. We need it.

Christmas has been a blur. The first few hours of Christmas morning were great spending time with the kids. It went downhill after that as I begin to drown in the excess of it as it all added up. It was a conflicting day for me. I thought of my friends in Haiti who it was most likely just another day trying to survive. I thought back to simpler times in America as I heard Patty's grandmother describe her Christmas's to me as a little girl in the 1920's where they got only a few pieces of fruit in their stocking. The only time they got fruit. And lastly, I longed for a more fulfilling Christmas like the one in an 1850 Christmas short story by Harriet Beecher Stowe I read before my grieving soul rested for the night.

A young lady complained about how she gave Christmas gifts to her friends and family that weren't really needed and was done more out of tradition then need and how she longed to give gifts that were truly embraced and needed. Her aunt told her of many people, mostly poor, who had needs and that gifts for those needs would be truly embraced. The young lady took this advice and begin to act upon it. This desire to fill real needs is my prayer for myself and for each of you for next Christmas. As Jesus said 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.' May we all follow his wise advice.

God Bless.

Friday, December 21, 2007

Inspirational Verse of the Day

"He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted." Job 5:9

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Haiti - Day 1 - Travel Day

I have different sections of each day so I'll post a section at a time. I've also added in some thoughts here and there in parentheses to expand on what I had written at the time. I hope this gives you a better viewpoint of our experience in Haiti.

Day 1 - Travel Day

Leaving US, Arriving Ayiti (Haiti)
We left the church house @ 3:45 a.m. and headed to the airport. Scott Sparks drove the church van and the attached trailer. He looked like he hadn't been up at 3:45 a.m. in a long time, lol... We didn't have heat until Brian Lloyd broke out some type of pliers to turn the control over to warm. I should have known that this was a precursor of things to come from him in Haiti. At the airport we loaded up 26 people, 52 LARGE checked bags, and just as many carry-ons onto the plane. From there to Dallas, from Dallas to Miami (whose airport has a lot to live for), from Miami to Port-Au-Prince. I should have known when the plane took a tight 180 degree turn for landing and then landed hard and fast it would be an omen for the next few hours. We deboarded and headed for immigration where I met a missionary couple from Canada who was staying for three weeks.

(At the time, I thought I wish I could stay that long but I remembered that thought on the back of a covered open air truck for the ride back to the airport to head home and cringed at the thought of staying two more weeks. I couldn't do it emotionally. I was spent. Little did I know that my dad was going to die this day and the emotional rollercoster was waiting to take me for a few more rides against my will.)

Once through immigration we began gathering our bags. Unbelievably, all 52 made it. Unfortunately, one of the ladies in our group left her carry-on bag on the plane and the airport personnel would not allow her to retrieve it. She had a mild panic attack that was ultimately soothed by the bag's return through our persistent efforts. Strangely enough, while we were gathering bags, hunting bags, begging for a carry-on bag the few people that were left and the airport workers, in cognizant to us, stared at televisions in the baggage claim area at some soccer game being played in a far off land. It wasn't much different than if the NFL was on at an airport in the US.

Next: Leaving the Airport

Monday, December 17, 2007

Still Recovering

What a two week period. If there is a list of troubled emotions I think I've felt them all over the last two weeks. Enough about me.

Patty is continuing to receive treatments for her arm three times a week. There has been some improvement which is a good sign. She keeps wanting to take the wraps off, she tends to be a non-compliant patient sometimes, but I reiterate to her that if she wants it to get better she has to keep it on.

She has two Herceptin treatments left. After these all of her treatments for the cancer are complete. Almost a year and a half. Combine this with my dad and its been an extremely tough period. We feel like we've worn everybody out with all the child care we've had to have for all of Patty's appointments. Unfortunately, this continues with the appointments for her arm. It may seem trivial but this is one of the things that grieves us is to have to continually ask for help. What makes it worse is we have four to care for! I digress.

I'm contemplating posting my journal entries from Haiti here if anyone is interested. Let me know.

Please continue to pray for Patty's arm, her mental health, and our family as a whole.

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Brief Update

I made it back from Haiti late Friday night. We found my dad dead at home on Saturday. After that trip and this I'm emotionally bankrupt. Keep up the prayers.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

3 Days Away

Three days from now I will be on a plane traveling to the mountains of the island nation of Haiti to serve and love on some of the poorest children in the world. Click HERE for a small snapshot of what we're serving. Some of have asked why?, there is plenty people that have needs here. The best answer I have heard is that there are plenty of people to help here, but there is no one to help down there. For me, our church has went twice before and each time they returned the Holy Spirit spoke to me that I should have went. Plus, everyone that has went has said its a humbling life changing experience. I want some of that. This week the enemy have been in full attack mode in attempting to keep me here. Let's hope he doesn't prevail.

Why Haiti? Among the many things they don't have, such as electricity or even a simple mirror to know what they look like, hope is one of the most lacking. As the Proverb says, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick" Myself and 25 others are going to hopefully "treat" their hearts by acting as the hands and feet of Jesus Christ. Part of that is by clothing, feeding, and teaching them. By us just being their they believe that God is blessing them.

Please pray for me and more importantly Patty as she has graciously allowed me to go despite having 4 children, daily treatments for her arm, and the stress and frustration that develops from both of those issues. Her and Katie will be traveling on Friday to North Carolina on Friday to perform the interpretive dance they did last year to the song "I Am" at her Aunt's Christmas tea. They will be traveling back on Sunday. Pray for her safe passage as well.

Her arm has stabilized under treatment and hopefully will begin to improve. Please pray for continued healing both physically and mentally for her with this and all other health issues. Also Grant is giving us a time. This is our first 4 year old boy and he is all boy. Pray for his obedience and our patience, lol...

This will probably be my last post before I return...Thanks to all of you who pray, help, or offer a kind word.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

The Hits Keep a' Coming!

Patty's visit didn't go well. She received news she didn't want to hear. Basically, they bandaged her arm up to where she can hardly move it. She has to wear it like this for 4 weeks. After that she has to wear a compression glove and sleeve for the rest of her life. Additionally, she has to wrap her arm with bandages every night for the rest of her life and basically have limited use of this arm for the rest of her life. Looking at the situation you think 'ok, I can handle this if I just have to worry about myself but, when you have 4 kids under the age of 9 to care for it becomes quickly overwhelming.

I always thought due to Patty's mom having breast cancer in her 40's that she might have a chance of having it. But, I never ever imagined the scenario we're in. I thought since she was proactive in monitoring herself and getting mammograms and biopsies of anything suspicious if she did get it she would be in her 40's, the kids would more self sufficient, and it would be the earliest stage you could find and the treatments would be relatively benign. This scenario we find ourselves in is unbelievable. In her 30's, 4 small kids, lymph nodes, masectomies, chemo, herceptin, radiation, thyroid issues, tamoxifen, lymphedema, who knows what's next. This is in addition to the normal things that make daily life difficult like other family sickness, finances, obligations, appointments, 4 kid's activities, I could go on and on but basically you get the picture.

I think the devastating blow is that you hope to be done with the year and a half of cancer and its treatments only to discover the effects of it and its treatments are going to be a constant reminder, hindrance, and minute to minute frustration to the end of your days. The Proverb "Hope deferred makes the heart sick" is definitely true, ...definitely true. I think Patty and I feel like we're in a vice that keeps getting squeezed tighter. Sometimes I think if we "could" give up we would.

I've always been intrigued by patients in my experiences that didn't exhibit any "hope" despite good chances for cures. Now, I have a better idea why they may not have it. I've learned a lot from the patient side that will allow me to serve our patients better. The funny thing is I'm starting to wonder if I want to stay in it. I'm tired of cancer and its devastation. My life is Cancer. My family, my job, my thoughts.

What A Day

Wow. Yesterday was uhhhhh...trying. When I got home from work I discovered Patty had accidentally wrecked the van, Brett has pink eye in BOTH eyes, I needed to pick up all the Girl Scout nuts for delivery, Grant throws up in the van, and Kendall is saying her ear is really hurting. Oh yea, I led our Community Bible Study group in between. What a day!

Patty's appointment was just for measurements and teaching on exercises. She goes this morning for the therapy part of it. Pray it will begin to begin to help.

Monday, November 19, 2007

The Latest

Patty's arm has steadily worsened. It is also very painful for her as of late. Of course, she has been pushing herself to the max. The Christmas Tea that she hosts annually for the church was this past Saturday. There were over 225 women in attendance. This year it was a fundraiser for our Haiti mission trip which I'll explain in another post. It looks like over 3k was raised. The work she puts into this I'm sure is a contributor of it getting worse.

Thankfully, she has an appointment with a Lymphedema Therapist today at 5. That being said, I'm requesting for supernatural healing as directed in John 14:14, "You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it." You can do the same!

We still struggling with the new dog name. These are the front runners.

Bella

Maggie

Presley

Vote for your choice!

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Cancer Island

A reader of the blog that I've had the pleasure of exchanging emails with shared the following with me a few days ago and it rang so true for me I thought I would share it with everyone. The writer is another husband whose wife has faced breast cancer over the last year and he is writing in reference to my comments in another post about watching other's lives carrying on as normal while we're struggling to stay above water.

"We have called this being stranded on "Cancer Island ". I heard an interview from a cancer patient and he characterized it as living in a parallel universe in which those dealing with cancer can cross over to the world of their friends, but their friends can not cross into the cancer world. I thought that was a good way to describe it. I would add to this another dimension in which caregivers reside, hanging somewhere between the two. I think, at times, this can be the most lonely place to be."

Amen brother, Amen. This is the most short and concise description of how I, and we, feel that I've ever read.

I think the writer makes an astute observation in his last two sentences in the paragraph about caregivers. Don't take me wrong, I'm not groveling for more attention but, in the last few years studies have been conducted on caregivers of cancer patients and the results are eye opening concerning the physical and mental health of this population. Which brings up a point that I've mentioned before. Cancer doesn't just affect the individual family member, but the whole family as well. Including the physical and mental health of the family.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Arm Update

Patty saw an orthopedic surgeon yesterday to determine if the issues with her arm might be related to carpal tunnel syndrome. He was under the impression that it wasn't and that it was indeed lymphedema. We're trying to get her in to see somebody as soon as possible because with this problem you want to get treatment before it worsens. Unfortunately, our insurance provided treatment location has a several week delay so we're exploring other alternatives.

To counterbalance all the negativism in the air, I finally succumbed to the "Getting A Dog" barrage that I have been inflicted with for several months now. Its been tough but they've wore me down. I've been mentally tortured to bring me to this humble position so I digress.

If you remember, our last dog Chrissy had to be put to sleep not long after Patty's surgery. We drove out to Maryville on Sunday to look at a couple of West Highland White Terriers that were almost ready to be taken home. The place was a beautiful small farm (I'll confess, I was coveting) where the kids got to play with the pups in the grass. And by the way kids includes Patty. Although, the boys were more interested in an old toy pedal tractor and the wide expanse to drive it, push it, or fight over it than the dogs. Patty and Kendall decided on the girl and so we put a deposit down and will pick her up either this weekend or next whenever she's ready.

We're taking suggestions on names so post anything clever in the comments. Her dad's name is Elvis and the mother is Priscella. So that should give you a head start

Monday, October 29, 2007

Arm Scan

Patty is having another scan today to assure she doesn't have a blood clot in her arm or axilla. The pain has continued so I encouraged her to call today and have it checked out further. Lymphedema is not usually painful so I wasn't comfortable for her to wait until Thursday when she sees her Oncologist.

She's noticeably discouraged by this latest development. Pray that the Lord will grant her encouragement.

On the lighter side, I took Grant and Brett for a haircut last Wednesday night. Thursday Grant decided it wasn't short enough. So he grabs my hair clippers and commences to give himself a reverse mohawk and to trim up Brett's sideburns. Patty called me at work and by her tone of voice I thought he had either busted the TV, broke a mirror, or blew up the computer. When I finally coaxed her into telling me what he did before I got home I actually had a sigh of relief it was just his hair. She wasn't as agreeable. What does he look like now? Well, let's say his cut resembles mine. Haven't seen mine? Its a #1 guard, as low as you can get with a guard. It actually looks good on him now and he's getting more attention as everyone wants to rub it!

Friday, October 26, 2007

150th Post

This makes the 150th post to this blog. Is this a favorable milestone? I think not, especially since I've got not so favorable news to report.

Patty's arm is still bothering her and she has now noticed some swelling in her hand which most likely is lymphedema. Not a good thing. She's is deservedly upset about this as it is just one more thing to have to deal with. We thought that she had eclipsed the period for this to occur but evidently not. She goes to see a specialist next week.

Its just like the hits just keep coming. I could expound on this but probably shouldn't.

We're tired.

Not just physically but mentally as well. I think we have kept clamoring and hoping to return to some semblance of what we once were. The further out we get and the continued issues now have me thinking it isn't going to happen. It's hard to describe but, not only does this effect your physical health but your immediate family, marital relationship, work performance, friends, hope, outlook, well...I could go on and on, basically everything everyday. Its even more difficult to see all your friends and acquaintances carrying on with everyday life and the normal issues you deal with. Truly, I can't describe in print the effect it has on everything. Words can't describe the despair it weighs upon you. I know it could be worse.

Pray for the Lord to extend his mercy and to heal this issue with Patty's arm and to grant us resilience and hope .

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Update

Just wanting to drop an update for everyone.

Patty is doing well. She is still receiving her Herceptin infusions weekly. This will continue through December. She still has odd aches and pains that consistently bring concern but that is something that we will have to consistently persevere through. Right now her right arm is bothering her. Its not swollen but feels like there is a tight cord running down her arm. This is often called Fascial Cording. Click HERE for a description. Hopefully we can get her a physical therapy consult which some say helps with this problem.

We're traversing off to Pigeon Forge for a short camping trip during the kids Fall Break. We're looking forward to getting away. Although, you never get away from thoughts and issues related to cancer as your mind travels with you.

This is a note for SP, a faithful reader and friend.

Thank you so much for your encouraging letter. Your faithfulness throughout the years has meant so much to Patty, myself, and the kids. We would love for you to come visit with us and the kids. Feel free to give us a call.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Test Update

The preliminary results from Patty's bone scan today did not show any evidence of cancer. The Lord is Good. Many thanks to all of you who prayed on our behalf.

Patty Having Scan Today

Patty has been having some back pain lately and has been concerned about it. She saw the doctor today and he suggested a bone scan to check it out. She is having it right now. I'd like to ask everyone to pray that the scan would be normal.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Negative!

God is faithful. Patty's thyroid biopsy came back negative. I have no other details but that was good enough for me. Hopefully, this will bring down the stress level from DefCon 2 down to 3.

Friday, September 07, 2007

Thyroid Nodule Update

Patty's thyroid nodule hadn't grown any but it hadn't shrunk either so the doctor wanted to biopsy it. It didn't look like too much fun from my spot in the chair beside the exam table. Of course, I can't ever think of a time that having a needle stuck in your neck 5 or more times would be. Patty is a trooper, I don't know how she does it. I'd be under the exam table or in it.

We won't know until Tuesday or Wednesday what the results are. On ultrasound they couldn't tell if it was actually thyroid or not. They didn't think it was thyroid or breast cancer but you never know until you see the slides. Our prayer request is that all the slides come back normal.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Thyroid Appointment on Friday

Did anybody watch the Crazy Sexy Cancer documentary? Kris, the subject of the story, is a little rough around the edges but it was amazing to me to see someone facing such a life changing illness with hope, enthusiasm, and a overwhelming zest for life. I loved her thought process when searching for a doctor to treat her diagnosis. If you didn't see it basically she was interviewing them for her new company, "Saving my A#% Technologies" I didn't care for her choice of words but it was funny to say the least. How she could find humor in such disheartening task is inspiring. If you get a chance to watch it I highly recommend it.

Patty's return visit to the thyroid doctor is Friday at 8. They will do an ultrasound to check the nodule for any changes in size. Hopefully, it has shrunk. If not, then they will have to biopsy it. Please pray that it will have shrunk so that Patty won't have to get stuck one more time. I have faith that it will go well. I also believe in intercessory prayer as well so please pray for her.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Long Time No Post

Sorry for the dearth of posts. Everyday life as of late has crowded my journalistic time allotments. But, that 's a good thing I guess.

Anyway, I read about something a month ago and again today and thought it was definitely worth passing on. The following links tell a story about a girl with an unbelievable spirit despite the trial of life she is facing. Diagnosed with a extremely rare type of cancer of which there is not much data or research on, she has faced it down and totally embraced the meaning of the word "survivor". Her documentary of which you can see a trailer HERE is going to be on TLC (the learning channel) Wednesday night at 9.

Read her unbelievable spirit and zest for life HERE at her own blog. This girl is truly amazing.