Sunday, October 22, 2006

Treatment #3 Looms

Time for us is revolving around weeks of 3. We're rolling around again to the next 3 week period tomorrow with Patty's next treatment. The treatments are now taking about 2 1/2 hours. Patty actually doesn't feel to bad that day but days two, three, and four are the ones that wipe her out. Thankfully, we're able to cobble together a bunch of help for the tough week. Without that it would be tough, real tough.

This last week before the next treatment has been hectic. Brett was lifeless, irritable, crying the whole week. Patty spent more than four hours with him and Katie last Thursday at the pediatrician's office. Finally, after the fourth visit of the week and chest x-rays, blood cultures, throat swabs, finger pricks, catherizations, ear washings and a multitude of other tests did they on Friday discover where the infection was, his ear. Can you believe it? Medicine is definitely an art. That's the scary part. Most think it is a defined science. It might be after the art part of figuring how to use the science. So all four of the kids and Patty have been sick this week.

Ironically, today I volunteered to work at St. Mary's Cancer Survivor Day at the Knoxville Zoo. Another surreal moment for me. I have a lot of those lately. Everybody come over after I was done and we toured the zoo. Afterwards, we went to Patty's grandmother's to check on her and do some winterizing on the camper. Thankfully, she was doing much better. She had been terribly sick as well the last few weeks. Patty used to be able to help her with the daily activities of life up until now. Another unfortunate consequence of this disease.

Patty seems to be holding up pretty good on the outside. But truthfully, I don't know. People ask me all the time how she is doing. I really don't know what to say, so I say she's doing OK. I know they're being polite and if you're one of them don't take this the wrong way. If she is like me, she's probably thinking about it all the time which is not a good thing because you get tired of thinking about it. At least I do. But you can't. Its always there, smacking you in the face every minute of every wakening day. Here's a typical moment...

your wife has cancer!, your wife has cancer!.....nahhh, can't be.....oh yes it can and its here live in color!....surely not, this is just a bad wish buddy, you've just come up big in the Mega C Lotto!

You can run but you can't hide. I usually try to turn the conversation quickly if I can. I don't like dwelling on it. My soul longs for normalcy, if there is such a thing. But that is gone, for a long time at least. Long live normalcy for those of you who still have it. I see it everyday, at least my mind tells me I do. Driving by in a car, at the ball game, mowing the yard. OK, I'm digressing, I better quit before I delve down any further.

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